Things I Do Not Understand: Singing and Instumenting Simultaneously

So in the interest of trying to be original (my eternally and rarely accomplished desire) I think that it would be funny to post a blog about things that I don't understand. Most people that throw one of these things up here do it in the interest of voicing their opinion on something that they feel particularly knowledgeable about. This makes them feel smart and lets them find other people who have achieved their same level of mastery in their favorite field. Bloggers would seek this out so that they can avoid conversations with you who make them want to tear off their face when you discuss their passion whatever it may be. Sports, theatre, music, coffee, Jai Alai, I don't know.

Bloggers are a proud and arrogant people.

I can be too.

One thing that I can not do is play a musical instrument well and simultaneously produce non-painful sounds with my voice.

I can sometimes sing.

I can play a hot lick too.

Never together. <----Haiku

Believe me it is not for want of effort. I sit around my living room and play this little tiny guitar that I stole from a friend and try to sing 'Blackbird,' and either one of two things happen. The

guitar part sounds fine, but i then realize that notes I am singing have very little to do with the melody that Paul sang, or I put tremendous effort into nailing that melody down and the sounds of the guitar start moving like a poorly handled sitar. Everything goes wrong.

There is a primary disconnect somewhere between my hands and my voice. I feel like I'm doing this:

But everyone else is doing this:

o well.